im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The Olympian is in my bed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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