what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
