she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
