I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
