Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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