I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
