In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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