Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
