quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm too high and old for this...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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