but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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