he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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