I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you have feelings for this penis?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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