bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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