on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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