Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
