I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i will never coherently bang her
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
