she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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