yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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