Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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