Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
