He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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