One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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