It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm getting married
To pizza
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
