in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
