evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
