I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
