so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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