I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
