someone get that fucking seahorse.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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