If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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