I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
