Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize