whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
