I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
