I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
