forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
