I got chris browned last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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