And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
