I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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