Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hello my rib-scented angel!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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