His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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