yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
