Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
