So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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