this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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