She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
