i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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