I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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