You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
