Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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