he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
