I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
