Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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