i was born a porn star she said
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
ttyl tear gas
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
