nut hugger
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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