its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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