You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
