My hand turned me down
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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