I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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